Thursday, May 29, 2008

My Ramblings

It finally happened...this morning, I put $7 in the truck to go to a doc appointment for Zach and I paid $3.95. After I picked up my paycheck, I put $50 in the car and $50 in the truck from the same station, for $4.01 per gallon of regular unleaded!! WTF is wrong with that picture?? I am so sick of spending my money on GAS! I see less and less of my husband and do less and less with my kids just to afford to go to work! To top it off, G is on a detail to raise and lower the flag every day for the month of June. This means that daily, at 630 am he has to be on Fort Lewis and then daily at 5 he has to be on Fort Lewis. That is over a 30 mile drive one way for him, so if he has the day off, he still has to be there! When is the US going to start taking care of their own and not those in foreign countries?? This is beginning to get really, really OLD!

Since I mentioned the doc appt, we have a new child psychologist referred by the school. This gentleman actually spent 9 years in He deals with alot of military families and children and helps with deployments and separations as well as all other psychiatric issues in children. I think he and I see eye to eye on alot of things with Zach. Next week he will meet with Zach and does plan on bringing up medications and why he is not on them. He also plans on getting us into a doctor at Madigan to help with Zach rather than just a regular pediatrician. We shall see...I am at the end of my rope with all of it. At this point I just want it all over with. I love him, I long for him to be a success, yet we just can not seem to agree to disagree and move on with life in the right direction and I am tired of trudging along uphill both ways.

The school year comes to an end on the 16th. I am anxiously awaiting report card time to see what is going to happen with Kathryn. I know she has grown in leaps and bounds since the troubles we encountered in Feb. I just hope that the principal sees it with open eyes and not through slits like she was earlier!

I am going to be asking at work about night time hours, even if it means a different position. Summer is coming and I do not want to hear the "I have to babysit all the time so I have no life". I hear it now for the little bit of time it is done, so I am not going to keep the bitch of the mom I am made out to be. I also applied for a job with the TSA at SeaTac. They are calling me to do the exam, but it is full-time, split shifts, and I am not doing a split-shift daily...too much gas money in that one! I just feel like I get the shit end of the stick no matter what job I do or do not get...I have been a stay-at-home-mom for 19 years! Now when I work, I get ripped at for not being home to do this or that or for bitching about chores or picking up after themselves....or i get ripped for the same thing if i ask for help from them because I sit at home all day. Not to mention how depressing it is to sit here all day now with no kids knowing my life consists of cooking and cleaning and babysitting.

I have 2 friends going through some medical stuff....and I want to be a good friend, I want to be there for them, help them, and I can't! I have 2 friends that really wanted to see me and I stood them up! I can no longer afford to do things with my kids or I have to am just all around pissy and sick of everything and almost everyone! If you read this far...thanks!!!

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