Wednesday, December 16, 2009

R & R is upon us

Well, today was day 3 of him home. He came in on Sunday. Not sure what I think of it. At first I thought things were just going to fall right into place, but then things changed. I have heard 2 different ideas of why and what, such as yup, I have to go with my gut and the other that it is deployment stress on both parts and I am letting it get to me. To be honest, at this point I do believe that I do not trust him and that is hard for me to swallow. It is hard for me to say, to think...not what I want to feel. Things said to him were taken so nonchalantly while he was there and I feel they are while he is home as well. That makes emotions run high on my part. I just want to he heard and understood and then reassured while he is here in front of me and not 7000 miles away. I am almost ready for him to just get back on the plane and go back to where he seems to want to be.

Friday, December 11, 2009

What a Scenario/Soap Opera

So...get your imagination going here on this scenario!

There is a girl who grew up in a not so great household with a mother who went through men and not good men either! She has siblings, and they have been in trouble with the law. She has a hard life, but has pushed through. She has found a friend and a "Second family" that she spends alot of time with during her middle school and high school years. She has even "moved in" from time to time.

At 17, she finds herself pregnant and not graduated and really having the possibility of 1 of 2 men for the baby's father. Her now current boyfriend sticks by her for those 9 months believing he is the dad and wanting to be a part of his son's life. He has a sorted past though, and could easily have been just like one of her mother's men that came and went while growing up. The move a few times and end up in a mission up until close to her delivery. Her mother decides to take her in, but says the BF has to stay at the mission.

Her mother makes a room for the baby and has her daughter sleep on the sofa. It has been rumored that she wants the baby for herself and the second "family" is concerned. After the baby is born, concern rises as social services is involved because of the "father's" past criminal history and the welfare of the living situation of the newborn ie. where will they be living and with whom. Things settle, and they return to her mother's.

Shortly after his birth, she moves in with that friend from school into their own apartment. She has found interest in one of the men in her "second family" after all these years. That is until the move-in day to their apartment when she calls and has him come over.

Now, to move along to the issues in this scenario I will fast forward a tad. After having the apartment a month or so, the "father" seems to be hanging out alot at the apartment and the girl and her new bf also do things with him for the sake of the baby. The "father" has not been proven to be the biological father, but the girl says he stuck by her and loves him and is his dad. The bf has his own place and on occasion stays at her place and then other times at his, and on weekends she will go to his place to stay. Come to find out, the "father" is sleeping the the girls bed when the bf is not there. He then ends up staying at the apartment for a month, all the while sleeping in her bed with everyone around thinking they are having sex and concerned for her new bf, cause if you remember from the beginning, the new bf is the girls roommates family member! The whole family is becoming concerned, and although they love the girl as family, he is their main concern.

So, the roommate finds a 30 day notice on their door because the manager knows he is there and has been for over 14 days and is not on the lease. It causes a riff when he is told he has to leave or all of them will be evicted. Things settle, and he goes back to the mission. In the meantime, the girl and the bf are stop seeing each other but the bf has definitely become attached to the baby.

Now, the "father" having a troubled past, has a probation officer and someone calls in that he is in violation of his parole and he is picked up. He spends a few nights in jail, and after 2 weeks of not talking, she calls the bf up to spend time together! He of course jumps right on it because they have so much in common and he is in love with her son. Upon his release from jail, he tries to return to the apartment, where the roommate says no, you can not be here because of your past record and if you are we will get kicked out and he leaves. This does not make the girl too happy, but oh well.

A week or so later, social services shows up looking for the girl and she is not at home. The roommate ask a few questions pertaining to the father and his past and finds that the girl and father have been lying and could have been endangering her baby as well as the girl's son. When confronted, the girl has no remorse and does not care. Things between the roommates are tense and living together is becoming difficult.

After 6 days of no communication and the girl not being home on top of the social worker visit and the lie, the roommate goes to the office and asks for her to be removed from the lease and explains why. The manager agrees that his past puts them at risk and does not want him there either, so eviction is agreed upon. A 30 day notice is given to the girl.

The roommate is worried the bf is going to be angry with her and because he is family, was told to tell him in her own words so that the girl can not misconstrue what really is going on. She does and he seemed to understand. Within a few hours though, that all changes! He calls her crying and upset that the girl just told him that she did not want him in her life and to leave and that his family hates her and she does not want to deal with them.

So.....with all this...the questions I pose are regarding his family. Do you blame the family for being concerned? She was essentially part of their family as well in the beginning. Their relationship was definitely not foreseen by any means! Knowing she is sleeping with one guy and then sleeping with their family member just did not set well. Knowing he was in love with a baby that is not his and trying to ignore those things for the baby's sake was not helping the family rationalize why he was letting himself be put through this. The girl has said to people that she was going to move in with the baby's father in April, so why then do you have a relationship with this family member? After all this, after the concern, after she says to leave, he blames his family and says it is their fault she kicked him out of their lives, because the family treated her like shit. The family has all changed. What do you say to that?!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

leave issue

What is the point of having leave from one date to another if you have to take it earlier and screw up plans? Yes, I should be happy to see him for 2 weeks, but I am not. I am going to spend my Christmas day with my family fighting off tears because he will be leaving the next day. Not spending the last day he is home just as a family and together, I will be at my mom's pretending to be in the Christmas spirit.

He says let's focus on the time we have and not worry about this...yeah well, I am already dreading the goodbyes. Not to mention that I have underlying issues haunting me and bothering me daily when I talk to him. Oh he said, I guess I just do what he says and not worry about something that is out of my control.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Losing Battle

Sometimes things are just a losing battle in life it seems. you can't please everyone and it is even harder when you can't seem to please yourself. How do you overcome the obstacles that keep you from achieving happiness, fulfillment, self gratification and self love?

Friday, December 4, 2009

November Came and Went

Wow! November came and went! Must be from being sick yet again and some other daily stressors in live with the hubby deployed. Ah, such is life!

December is upon us. George will be home for 2 weeks R & R in 10-12 days. It will be so nice to have him home, but so sad to see him go back. I just hope the time he is here goes slowly and the time he is gone will go fast.

I started out on an new business endeavor this past month, and off to a rocky start. Check out the website! I am now selling Gold Canyon Candles!